Suicide is often labelled a cowardly and selfish act – for those who are left behind to pick up the pieces. But it’s not. I know this because I’ve found myself having those dark thoughts, and coming close to calling it a day on life.

To someone on the outside, it may have seemed like “the easy way out” when I contemplated suicide, but you have to understand that it was an incredibly difficult decision I was faced with. And the last person I was thinking about was myself – it was the people in my life who love me who were number one in my mind.

Yes, depression affects me first and foremost, but it also has a devastating impact on my husband who rides the emotional tides with me. He knows when my mood starts to dip and I know how it affects him, how I bring his mood down with mine.

He lives with the exciting weekend plans that we have to cancel because getting out of bed is too much of an effort. He has to find the right words to console me on the nights I sit crying on the couch for no conceivable reason. He has to convince me that I’m not a failure when a project I’ve spent months on has turned out (in my mind) to be rubbish. Perhaps this seems trivial, but it’s not. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating and it’s called depression. 

When you reach a point of contemplating (or planning to commit suicide), you believe that ending your life is the single easiest way to bring peace to your loved ones, to end the suffering that you cause them. Following that, it’s also about finally finding your own peace – depression is exhausting. It consumes you on a daily basis. The ‘Black Dog’ constantly reminds you you’re not good enough, you’re a failure… It’s completely irrational but it’s also completely real to the person who is suffering. 

When suicide is newsworthy

We’ve lost so many well-known people to suicide over the years and every single time the news breaks, the world stops to mourn, to show anger and to throw judgement against the person, labelling them a coward and calling them selfish.

Chester Bennington.

Avicii.

Anthony Bourdain.

Professor Bongani Mayosi. 

All of them immensely talented individuals who committed suicide. Suddenly mental health takes priority and we start to have conversations about it. But soon those conversations come to an end and the next big thing happens – protests, the petrol price, the unemployment rate…

What you need to know about suicide

1. Should it really take tragic celebrity suicides to shine the spotlight on mental health? 

Health24 writer Mandy Freeman reflects on the recent suicide of Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington. Why does the world only take notice of mental illness following the suicide of a celebrity?

2. What to do and say when someone wants to commit suicide

Celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain’s recent suicide sent shock waves through the world. Here are ways you can recognise somebody who’s contemplating suicide. 

3.  ‘I Googled how to kill myself’

Suicide is not a cowardly act. It’s also not an easy decision to make. Health24 writer Mandy Freeman opens up about wanting to commit suicide.  

The ugly face of depression

Depression is real and affects so many people differently. Don’t assume that because someone you know seems happy, full of life and always smiling, they are not secretly suffering. Chester Bennington’s wife, Talinda, tweeted this following his death:

This is what depression looked like to us just 36 hrs b4 his death. He loved us SO much & we loved him. #fuckdepression #MakeChesterProud pic.twitter.com/VW44eOER4k

— Talinda Bennington (@TalindaB) September 16, 2017

You cannot know what demons a person is battling with internally. And in many regards, suicide is brave. When life is good, it’s good. But for someone with depression, when the dark cloud arrives, life gets pretty damn impossible.

Show compassion

So all I can ask is that we show a little more compassion to those who suffer from mental illness. The journey they’re on is not an easy one – it’s an emotional roller coaster day in and day out. And when a person finds themselves at the point of suicide, know that they have analysed every possible aspect and they believe this is their only way to find peace, and allow their loved ones a happier life. 

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Mandy Freeman

In news that comes as surprise to absolutely no one, UK doctors have found that there is no evidence that having sex with robots is healthy for you.

There is a lot of misinformation out there about sex, sexual health and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

We have all heard our fair share of bizarre sexual health myths, from when we were at school discussing what we thought we knew about sex, to that awkward “sex talk” parents have with their children.

Despite the progress in spreading awareness around these important topics, false ideas continue to be perpetuated.

Some of them you might know, some of them might shock you, but what is important is that these things are spoken about openly. Ignorance really is not bliss when it comes to your sexual health. These myths are harmful to our progression toward a more sex-positive and informed society. 

Here are seven sexual health myth that should no longer be allowed to circulate. 

1. ‘You can get an STI from a toilet seat’

Please stop squatting and dripping all over the seat – you cannot get an STI from a toilet seat.

While contact with infected skin could lead to an STI transmission, contact with a toilet seat will not. This is because the pathogens that cause STIs cannot live outside the human body for long.

It’s also unlikely you’ll contract any sort of infection from a toilet seat, for the same reason. Pathogens need a way into your body, and skin that has no open wounds or cuts acts as a natural barrier.

2. ‘You cannot get an STI from oral sex’

While the risk of getting an STI from oral sex is less than from vaginal or anal sex, there is still some risk. Many STIs, including syphilis, gonorrhoea, herpes and chlamydia, can be spread through oral sex. 

3. ‘Anal sex causes hemorrhoids’ 

Hemorrhoids are as a result of increased pressure in the veins of the anus, the pressure causes these veins to swell, making them painful, especially when you are seated. 

The main causes of hemorrhoids are excessive exertion during your bowel movements, constipation and anal infections. Anal sex will not cause hemorrhoids, as long as you take your time and make sure your anus is fully relaxed before engaging.

However, for those who already have hemorrhoids, anal sex can make your condition significantly worse. 

Interested in anal play or prostate massage? It has been found to provide relief for those with erectile dysfunction and painful ejaculation. It has also been linked to improving urine flow. 

4. ‘You cannot get pregnant during menstruation’

While conception during menstruation is unlikely, it is not impossible. Your chances of pregnancy are highest during ovulation, which is the point in your menstrual cycle where a tiny egg takes a trip from an ovary into one of your fallopian tubes.

Those who have short or irregular periods have an increased chance of having an egg present during menstruation. The egg can live for several days in your body, and additionally, not all women ovulate two weeks before their period; some ovulate closer to the time of their actual period.

5. ‘Douching after sex cleans the vagina and prevents pregnancy’

The vagina is self-cleaning and does not need extra solvents and soaps. In fact, douching has been found to cause more harm than good, disrupting the balance of bacteria and altering the normal pH of the vagina. 

The vagina has both good and harmful bacteria, and douching can cause an overgrowth of harmful bacteria. A study conducted at the Schools of Public Health and Medicine, University of Alabama, found that douching can lead to bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection. If you’re still not freaked out by this information, douching when you already have an infection can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, which is a serious health issue. 

6. ‘Masturbation makes achieving orgasm more difficult’

There seems to be a belief that regular masturbation will make you less sensitive down there and result in struggling to orgasm. This is completely untrue. In fact, frequent masturbation can actually improve your sex life as you become in tune with yourself. It will help you figure out what you like and dislike in bed. How can that be a bad thing? 

Of course, using an intense vibrator six times a day, every day, might lead to some numbness. According to sexologist Dr Marelize Swart, “If used repetitively over the same area you may over-stimulate the nerves and so create altered or diminished sensation over that area. This should however return with time. It’s normal, and no problem in the long term.” So go ahead and enjoy yourself! 

7. ‘Vaginas are tight or loose depending on the amount of sex a woman has had’

The “tight vs. loose” myth is fairly common. It is, however, completely untrue. The vagina is a muscle, much like an elastic band that has the ability to expand and contract. When a woman is aroused, the walls of the vagina soften and lengthen, making penetration easier. If you feel scared or uncomfortable, the walls of the vagina will naturally contract, making penetration difficult. The myth of a “loose” vagina has throughout history been used as a way to shame women for their sexual activities. 

The truth is that it does not matter that much who you have sex with, or how often. While a vagina may change over time as a result of age and childbirth, penetration will not cause your vagina to stretch permanently.

Do you want to strengthen your vaginal muscles? Try Kegel exercises. 

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There have been many theories about what makes a good team. We’ve all heard the saying, “There’s no ‘I’ in team” or “Too many chefs spoil the broth”. But beyond being catchy sayings to somewhat inspire reluctant people, no one has been able to tell us what the magic combination is.

Read more: Get all the nutrients your body needs by stocking your cupboard with these five foods

But new research may have found the most unusual team builder – and it’s not office sport battles or a good leader (okay, it might be). It’s that dark bitter brew that makes meetings a whole lot sweeter; yes, it’s coffee.

Less drifting, more talking

Researchers from the Ohio State University found that when people drank caffeinated coffee before a meeting they not only gave a more positive review of their group’s performance but also of their own work.

And if getting people to talk seems to be an issue, there’s hope. Another study found that when people drank the caffeinated cup, they spoke more in a group. But don’t think having the coffee without the caffeine will help. They also stuck to the topic more than those who had decaf coffee.

Read more: 9 coffee table books that will class up your living room and show your personality

And when they were talking about controversial topics that could likely cause friction, people who drank caffeinated coffee were more likely to still want to work in their group again than those who drank decaf. “Coffee didn’t seem to make group discussions too uncomfortable and disagreeable,” said Amit Singh, co-author of the study. “Even though they are talking more, agreeing and disagreeing, they still want to work with them again.”

Less yawning, more talking

So what about the coffee makes people work better in a group? “We found that increased alertness was what led to the positive results for team performance,” said Singh. “Not surprisingly, people who drank caffeinated coffee tended to be more alert.”

And what time you drink the coffee is important, too. When people drank coffee before the meeting they rated their group and their own performance more positively than those who drank coffee after the meeting.

Interestingly, it might not actually be about the coffee, but about how alert they felt. All participants were asked to rate how alert they felt. The caffeinated coffee drinkers rated themselves as more alert than the others. And those who rated themselves as more alert were more likely to give the more positive reviews of themselves and their group.

Read more: Here are 11 reasons you should be drinking coffee right now and the products you should be using

“We suspect that when people are more alert they see themselves and the other group members contributing more, and that gives them a more positive attitude,” said Singh.

Less thinking, more drinking

So what can you do to be a better teammate apart from offering to buy everyone a round of coffees from the café around the corner? Well, it’s simple. Drink more coffee or do something that makes you alert. If you’re not a coffee drinker, you can take a walk before a meeting or have a conversation with a co-worker; it will make you more alert.

^{This article was originally published on www.mh.co.za}

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When South Africa introduced designated smoking areas in restaurants and bars there was vehement opposition from sections of the hospitality industry. They argued that the public would stop eating out, restaurants would lose revenue and even close down, and jobs would be lost. Besides, they contended, no one would obey the law.

Non-smoking areas the norm

But two decades later, smoking in non-smoking sections of a restaurant has become taboo. Ordinary South Africans and the hospitality sector have policed the legislation. And despite those initial concerns, research from the University of Cape Town shows that none of the 700 restaurants surveyed saw a drop in patrons or profits by marking off designated smoking areas.

Of the restaurants, only 1% allowed patrons to smoke wherever they wanted to while more than 40% followed a no-smoking policy, a little over 40% designated an area outside for smoking, and just 11% had a designated area for smoking inside.  

No-smoking areas within restaurants and other public spaces are the norm. The legislation, and the annual increase in the price of cigarettes, led to a consistent decrease in the prevalence of smokers from about 38% in 1998 to between 16% and 18% in 2012. But South Africa has not seen a significant drop in consumption of tobacco products since 2012 – and what’s more worrying is there’s no reduction in the prevalence of smoking among young people.

The Draft Control of Tobacco Products and Electronic Delivery Systems Bill – which is out for public comment until 9 August – will address this problem.

Legislative shifts

A number of legislative shifts will happen through the legislation. The first declares any enclosed public area 100% smoke-free, and proposes introducing some outdoor public places smoke-free too.  There is good reason for this. Research shows that second-hand smoke is as harmful as smoking. When a smoker lights up in front of a non-smoker, the non-smoker develops a 30% higher chance of getting heart disease.  

Smoke-free public spaces are a well-documented strategy to reduce the number of cigarettes that people smoke and to move them towards stopping completely. An Africa Centre for Tobacco Industry Monitoring and Policy Research (ATIM) study last year found that about a third of non-smokers are exposed to second-hand smoke at restaurants. 

The second major shift is around the regulation of e-cigarettes, whichhave become a familiar sight in public places. The current tobacco control legislation was introduced before e-cigarettes were available so there are no laws governing their use or the advertising, marketing and sponsorship of them. This has meant that e-cigarette manufacturers have used the legislative vacuum to promote these devices and make unsubstantiated claims about the impact they have on public health, as well as their efficacy as a quit tool. They have attempted to falsely position the use of e-cigarettes as healthy, sexy and attractive, with a particular focus on getting young people to use the product.  

Text warnings to quit

This is set to change as the bill restricts the use of e-cigarettes in all areas where combustible cigarettes are not allowed. Marketing, advertising and the sponsorship of e-cigarettes will also be banned and their sale will be restricted to adults over the age of 18. 

E-cigarette use has been linked to the development of lung diseases, and if used during pregnancy, can cause sudden infant death syndrome. Studies have also linked e-cigarettes to an increased heart rate and high blood pressure.

Despite claims from the tobacco industry that e-cigarettes help smokers to stop using combustible cigarettes, evidence shows that e-cigarettes are most likely to be used in combination with combustible cigarettes.

South Africa will join 83 other countries that regulate e-cigarettes.

The next shift is that packaging of tobacco products will change too. The ATIM study found that only 13% of smokers are motivated by the text warnings to quit. Change was needed to ensure that South Africans take heed of the health warnings. The draft bill introduces uniform packaging for all brands and pictorial warnings on all packages. This will remove all advertising on the package, and make it harder to ignore the health warning. Plain packaging, as this intervention is called, has resulted in a significant drop in consumption in Australia where it was introduced in 2012.  

Improving public health

Tobacco use is one of the top-five risk factors that contribute to South Africa’s disease burden. It increases the risk of several chronic diseases including cancers, pneumonia, ischaemic heart disease and stroke. Smokers also face double the risk of developing tuberculosis.

South Africa’s smoking rates are the highest on the continent – and trends show that these figures will increase over the next 15 years. The new tobacco control legislation should be seen as South Africa’s response to the escalating increase in non-communicable diseases such as cancers, heart disease and strokes.  – Health-e News.

*Savera Kalideen is the Executive Director of the National Council Against Smoking. The draft bill is out for public comment until 9 August: send submissions to www.againstsmoking.co.za

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Savera Kalideen