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The average number of times per month women are having sex has decreased from 6.3 to 4.8 times in 20 years. Plus, women are twice as likely to have gone without sex for a whole year compared with men (they say we’re picky, we say have you seen the slim pickings on Tinder lately?).

This joyous news comes courtesy of a new survey of sexual attitudes in the journal The Lancet, which suggests a mounting (sorry) dissatisfaction with our sex lives compared with the male of the species (although 15% of them also reported a drop in libido).

According to sexual health lecturer Dr Cath Mercer, “Stress is to blame. As is technology. People are taking their tablets and cellphones into the bedroom at night and some people are using porn as a sex substitute.”

But, as Angelina Jolie’s good rep proves, everything is reversible. Read on for three solutions to guide you back to project O.

Read more: 5 low libido causes that have nothing to do with hormones

The problem: Stress

The experts say: Your boss is the reason you associate the word “climax” with the end of a really long AGM rather than a saucy quickie up against the fridge. The humble foot massage will sort you out (bear with us here). Studies conducted by the National Institute of Health in the US have proven that reflexology instantly decreases blood pressure and lowers anxiety.

What’s more, says acupuncturist Sandra Bird, a foot massage provides access to one of the most heightened sexual release points on the body – the “yongquan” or “gushing spring” point located on the sole, about a third from the base of the second toe and two thirds from the heel edge. Basically, that midpoint where his massaging thumbs fit perfectly.

In other podiatry-related sex news, pushing on the bit between your big toe and second toe is apparently another major stress-release point. Time for a toe wax!

Read more: The top 10 reasons for low libido

The problem: Devices

The experts say: Emailing, scrolling through News24 comments and playing Candy Crush are detracting from the actual button pressing you want in the bedroom. A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that when women ignore common distractions (phones, TVs, laptops), they can start to become aroused in as little as 30 seconds. Yet an eye-watering 81% of adults always take their cellphone or tablet to the bedroom at night.

Here’s how to kick the habit: Set your alarm before you even enter the bedroom and don’t touch your phone once you’re in bed, suggests Dr Elna Rudolph, WH sex expert and head of MySexualHealth.co.za. Or, on the flip side, you could make your smartphone part of the action (no, not like that, there aren’t enough screen wipes in the world for that game).

Read more: 4 best foods to give your libido a boost

The problem: Porn

The experts say: Women make up one in three viewers. What’s more, a recent survey found that both sexes aged 16 to 44 say watching it is often more exciting than the real thing. If you’re busy getting more on-screen action than off, be careful. “Exposure to explicit content gives you an addictive chemical rush and neuronal firing in your brain – much like cocaine,” says Dr Rudolph. “Compared to porn, normal sex will most likely be far less intense.”

Solo viewing can put an intimacy wedge between you and your partner, so convert porn-viewing to a joint activity instead. “Use it for inspiration for sex moves or to open up dialogue about what you like or don’t like,” says Dr Rudolph. “But, if you need it to get into the mood every time, there’s something else going on.”

For something genuinely educational, try DreamsOfSpanking.com, which weaves tips on technique into the entertainment. And no, sadly, Magic Mike Uncut is not on there.

^{This article was originally published on www.womenshealthsa.co.za}

^{Image credit: iStock} 

It goes without saying that, as is the case with all of your other body parts, washing your penis should be a part of your daily shower routine. But if you’ve been practicing poor hygiene, or just generally neglecting to thoroughly wash down there, beware: You may have developed smegma.

A common condition that affects guys who don’t clean their junk enough (or don’t clean in the right way), smegma, a.k.a. “penis cheese”, is a white substance that typically collects around the head of the penis. While anyone can get it, guys who are uncircumcised are particularly prone.

Read more: How does circumcision really affect your sex life? Here are the facts

But what is smegma, and how do you prevent it? We asked clinical sexologist Eric Marlowe Garrison and Dr Debby Herbenick, a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, for more information.

What is smegma?

Smegma is a combination of secretions from sebaceous oil glands and dead skin cells that collect under the foreskin of your penis. This results in a white, cheese-like substance. (Actually, “smegma” is the Greek word for “soap”, which is both ironic and makes buying toiletries in an Athens hotel gift shop extremely awkward.) When these substances “build up underneath the foreskin, it can provide a host for bacteria”, says Garrison.

Garrison also notes that it’s possible for both uncircumcised and circumcised men to develop smegma. (It’s also common in women, where it’s most likely to appear between the folds of the vagina’s labia or around the clitoral hood.)

Because “no circumcision is perfect” Garrison says, even circumcised men may have a tiny bit of foreskin remaining, creating the opportunity for smegma to build up. They may also develop smegma beneath the corona of the penis (i.e., underneath the head), because “most American families don’t teach young adults how to care for their sex organs”, says Garrison.

Read more: STD symptoms that affect the rest of your body

Is smegma common?

Yes, according to Dr Herbenick. “We all have skin cells and sebaceous glands,” she says. “Together, these create smegma for both males and females.” Indeed, the oils that result in smegma are naturally secreted by the body to lubricate the genitals and keep them from feeling dry. So having smegma doesn’t mean you’re dirty or unclean – it just means you should probably wash and clean your penis a bit more thoroughly.

In itself, smegma is pretty harmless. But if you let it build up, it can result in the smegma hardening and producing a bad smell.

“The combination of dead skin cells and bacteria not only leads to an unsightly (and foul-smelling/tasting) collection of cells, but it can also cause skin irritations and breaks in the skin that could facilitate a sexually transmissible infection,” Garrison cautions.

If you’re uncircumcised, and you let it build up for a really long time, it can also cause your foreskin to stick to the penis, which can necessitate a painful trip to the dermatologist’s office.

How to treat and prevent smegma

Basically, this is all you need to do:

If you wash with soap and water regularly, then any light smegma build-up is nothing to worry about. “It does not need to be treated or gotten rid of, other than being gently wiped away with fingers or a washcloth (kind of like how ear wax is just wiped away),” says Dr Herbenick.

Read more: Guys share the cringeworthy sex injuries that landed them in hospital

That said, if you’re uncircumcised and you’ve been accumulating quite a bit of smegma, Garrison says you may need to be more aggressive about your hygiene practices. Gently pull the foreskin back and use a washcloth, some warm water, and a mild soap to clean underneath the head of the penis.

“A lack of foreskin hygiene, not merely the presence of a foreskin, [may be linked to] an increase in HIV infections among uncircumcised men,” he says. “Anytime that penile skin is compromised, it can become a route for infection, [which can] be a path for a bacterium, virus or fungus to take hold.”

In a small number of cases, smegma build-up and hardening can cause the penis to become irritated and red, which can lead to a condition called balanitis. “If a person has an infection underneath the foreskin as a result of smegma, they should see a dermatologist before it gets worse. Or before they might acquire an STI,” says Garrison.

The best way to prevent smegma is the same method used to treat it: Wash your penis at least twice a week, and if you’re uncircumcised, pull back your foreskin and wash with soap and water. Practicing good hygiene will save you a lot of trouble further on down the road.

^{This article was originally published on www.menshealth.com}

^{Image credit: iStock}